We want to see the teens in our lives thriving, but let’s be real, being a teen these days is extremely challenging. Often during therapy, I spend a lot of time talking with my teen clients about the pressure, stress, and anxiety they are feeling. Here are some of the major themes that have come up regularly:

School

Tough classes, homework, concerns about grades or projects, conflicts with teachers, changing schools, challenging assignments, the impact grades can have on college applications, conflicts with classmates, teasing, and bullying.

Family

Fights with parents and/or siblings, arguments over rules, stressed out adults, parents getting separated or divorced, moving or living in multiple places, increased responsibilities at home like cleaning or caring for siblings or pets, family finances.

Friendships

Peer pressure, fights with friends, dating, changes in friendships, not having friends, or losing friends they did have, making or keeping plans, keeping up with what’s happening on apps, group text messaging issues, feeling isolated or alone.

Other stressors

Finding a job, balancing work and school responsibilities, death of a loved one, higher expectations from the adults in their life.

Between schoolwork, college admissions pressure, worrying about what’s going on social media, and conflicts with family or friends, it’s no wonder teens overall are more stressed out and anxious these days. And it’s hard to escape. If there’s a huge fight happening with friends, just because you’re not in the same space anymore doesn’t mean you can block out the argument. The fight can follow you via social media or apps or on a group message.

What strategies work to help teens cope?

When I’m working with teens, I love to explore lots of different types of coping skills that they might like and use, including:

Deep Breathing

There are so many different ways to take deep breaths.

Ocean Breathing

Breathe in and imagine the wave rolling in, breathe out and imagine the wave rolling out.

Relaxation

Calming activities like taking mindful moments, using grounding techniques, or using their imagination to help teens relax their minds and bodies

remember the Words to a song you love

Music can shift your mood, help you relax, or inspire you. Some lyrics can help us feel better or comfort us. To call on the power of music, one thing you can try is to remember the words to a song you love. First, identify the song. If you want, you can play it. If you’re in a place where you can’t play it, then think of the lyrics in your head.

Distraction

Fun and enjoyable activities to take a break

Listen to an audiobook or podcast

It can be hard to give your brain a break, but sometimes if you get fully engaged by a story, that can help you focus on something else other than your worries. Listening to an audio book or podcast can be a great way to do that. Think about what you’d like to listen to that would pull you in and let your mind rest.

Movement

Strategies that involve moving their bodies in a variety of ways

Walking outside

Being outside can help you reset when you are feeling stressed or anxious. If you need a break, sometimes it helps to take a moment outside and breathe in air, maybe feel the sun on your skin, and look at what you see around you.

Sensory

Ideas for using their senses to relax and de-stress

Splash Cold water on your face

Splashing some water on your face can help you reset. If you’ve been having a challenging time, taking a few minutes to go to the bathroom, splash a little water on your face, and see how it makes you feel.

Processing

Identifying their feelings and emotions, expressing those feelings using art, writing, journaling, and more

Talk to someone you trust

Talking to someone seems like a simple intervention, but it can do wonders for helping you. When you share positive things with someone else, your joy grows. When you share negative thoughts or worries with someone else, it lessens the pain.

Talking to someone can make it easier to process situations that are happening to you. You may see things differently, or be able to identify different thoughts and emotions you have around certain situations by chatting with someone. The other person can act as a sounding board, helping you figure out what went wrong, and what to do next. Having a conversation can also help you get ideas for dealing with your problems.

Do you have any advice for supporting teens?

Yes, I do! I’ve done several podcast episodes specifically related to working with teens.

 
 

I’m not sure where to begin. What can I do?

There are lots of free resources over at copingskillsforkids.com.

If you want to purchase workbooks, journals, coping cards for teens, and printables to help teach coping skills, visit store.copingskillsforkids.com.

If you want more detailed support, like classes, webinars, and direct support from me, join the Coping Skills Hub.


Teen Resources from the Store

Get support in the Coping Skills Hub

The Coping Skills Hub has everything you need to teach coping skills.

In the Hub, you will find…

  • A 12-week class that takes you through the step-by-step process to teach kids and teens coping skills - from connecting with kids to practicing and reviewing strategies so that kids use them when they need them!

  • Over 100 coping strategies for kids of all ages, from preschool to high school, each with a downloadable printable to encourage using coping skills at other times

  • Weekly audio practice to help kids, teens, and adults practice coping skills

  • Video library of webinars, classes, and mini expert lessons -  available on demand

  • On-demand courses like Create Coping Skills Champions and Coping Skills for Teens with Anxiety

  • Games and Activities to playfully explore feelings and practice coping skills

  • All the resources you need to create a personalized toolkit for your child or teen and set up your home to encourage kids and teens to use coping skills when they need them

  • Coping Skills for Adults - an area where we as adults can explore and grow our own strategies 

  • Resources for Mental Health Professionals - Lesson Plans, Treatment Plan Templates, and pre- and post-tests

  • available on iOS and Android as well, so you can use the Hub wherever you are

Get more information about the Hub

New resources are added monthly!

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